Last year, I started a new job and February 27, 2020, made it my first month of employment. My thoughts were consumed with performing well at work, establishing positive relationships with my team members, and proving to everyone that hiring me was the best decision they ever made. The rest of my thoughts were held captive by my pending divorce, I had started the process, and it was taking a toll on me emotionally and mentally. That is why Covid was not on my radar. That would not last long; however, my job ended up shutting down for five months a few weeks into March. If someone had told me a few years ago, there would be a worldwide pandemic that would shut down jobs and throw everyone’s lives into a tailspin, I would not have believed it.
It all sounds too fictional, but it was a reality that I never want to relieve again. What the past year has taught me is the importance of a healthy support system when chaos is happening in your life. Yes, I’m in my late forties and don’t have my own place yet but guess what? That is okay and a story for another time. I brought it up to say this…living with close friends when people were expected to isolate themselves from members outside their households kept me sane. There is no way I could have made it five months with only myself for company. My mind was not a pleasant place to be a year ago. I was recovering from co-dependency and PTSD from a lifetime of emotional and mental abuse that started from childhood.
As I sit here on the couch, typing this post, life has not gone back to normal. I am intelligent enough to know that my life will never be what it was. I am not sad about that. I feel as if, for me, the sky is still the limit. Yes, I still must wear masks, and I am still cautious about where I go and who I take my mask off around, but I am alive and can make my dreams come true. So, a year ago today, I was hurting and numb as the world around me was attacked with covid. Now I am alive and moving forward, checking off my goals one step at a time.